SONGSOPTOK: Is the
subject of sex taboo in your own personal family and friends circle? Do you
talk freely about sex with your partner / children / friends? If no, why? If
yes, what exactly do you talk about? Take this as an academic exercise, and do
explain.
ANINDA: Before I start
answering, let me clarify that we are in an Indian society, bound too well by
some Hindu orthodox people & like catholic Methodists, for these people
too, sex is a taboo, a prohibited doctrine. I cannot ignore that fact. Given
that limitation, I always try to overcome this hurdle. I encouraged my wife in her
first adult & matured endeavor --her last year’s offering viz 36-32-34. As
u can well understand, this is a book, most publishers declined to publish,
because it was out n out a book on our sexual overtures. In preamble, she wrote
n to her social group n circles across FB, she explained, it was necessary for
her to disclose to her daughter, how this world treats d fairer sex. As a male
in a dignified post, I have to maintain decorum n cannot openly talk about sex
in my circles, but I have seen my wife n her friends talk without any
hesitation, obviously within their circles. And FB has got some hypocritical moral standards to uphold….But given that, I feel, we are one
of very few couples who can talk with their daughter on abortion, menstruation etc & daughter also
advises mom on Preganews, I pill etc. At
least between mom n daughters there have been talks of Condoms etc. I feel, we
belong to an enlightened family with liberal mindset.
SONGSOPTOK: In the society you live in, is
the subject of sex a taboo? If yes, how do you explain it? Is it because of the
religion that is practiced in your country? Or is because of your culture, or
even the beliefs of the political parties in power?
ANINDA: In most countries politicians are hypocrites,
If a candidate loses election or
suffers miserably in US
because of his bad sexual overtures or
his sexually explicit speeches / behavior, ( Donald Trump/Bill Clinton) , while d society openly
reckons gay marriages , lesbianism &
unchaste freedom , as also promotes
nudity in the guise of natural societies, politics of every country is corrupt. Especially in Islamic world, sexual crimes
happen under veil. So many religious gurus act like bastards as they
rape disciples months after
months. And so many dads & bros rape
daughters n sis year after year… teacher rapes student, uncle rapes niece &
in laws in so many cases are demons, ….especially
in parts of Haryana, where wives
are bought from Eastern India to conjugate with hubby, bros in law & dad in law year after year & bear children to all of
them, society’s sexual hypocrisy
goes out in open. In all parts of world,
in all religions this may happen. Many of
father figures of society are like this. Especially, the religions of Islam n
parts of Hinduism that profess veils. It is a bad sexual hypocrisy of Catholics
to put pregnant moms’ lives into danger by not allowing them to abort under any
complexity, howsoever great. Some
societies have well risen over religion’s clasp to declare war on taboos, but unhindered
open sex is an element of concern there, eg in Finnish countries & d vast
nude beach areas of Spain &
Brazil.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that the society
today is more permissive compared to the time you were growing up? Do you think
it is a good thing? Please let us have your detailed opinion.
ANINDA: Obviously… Modernization has helped in
breaking taboos. In literature n films of
India, sex is an open matter…especially in documentaries & art films. If u compares languages, Bengali
films base themselves more on sex than many other languages. Maybe, because
since Renaissance days, Bengal did not
have any
Sanskrit lineage & cultural
heritage of 1000s of years & better adopted to European culture, Constantinople’s
learning etc. So, Simon d Bevier , Jean
Paul Sartre , Baudelaire etc came close
to Romantic Bengali hearts , led by
Buddhadev Basu. Even religion is not so important in Bengal. Gradual
rise of liberalism in our litera ture,
theatre & art films is phenomenal, & thru film societies, more exposure
to world’s adult cinemas has happened. Yes, today a child talks more freely on
these. Society is more tolerant.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that a permissive
society is dangerous for teenagers, both girls and boys? Or is it on the
contrary a good thing since it demystifies sexual acts and makes them look at
it as something mundane and normal? Is that a good or a bad thing?
ANINDA: Sex Education is still not open in most curriculums.
And still there are taboos n inhibitions. I feel, rapes happen more even now,
by people, who are more male chauvinists & patriarchal. Yes, rapes happen in Canada/
US./UK/Australia. Because there are
exceptions in form of demons. But
overall society is better, more human, more compassionate. Strongly feel,
permissive society shall reduce rapes n molestations.
SONGSOPTOK: History tells us that sex was not
taboo in ancient societies. What, in your opinion, is the genesis of this
attitude? Do you think that the rise of patriarchal societies all over the
world is the main reason, where man gradually started looking upon the woman as
his own property? Or is it mainly religious, where woman was treated as the
root of all evils?
ANINDA: Manu.
Till Puranas, see Dwapar’s Draupadi, Bichitrabirja/ Vyas & Kunti/
Madri. Sex was open & normal. Urvasi, Rambha etc enjoyed free sex, as also
hermits. Problems erupted as Manu
started with subjugation of women & afterwards Muslims invaded & worst
customs like Jaharbrata were glorified… Satidaha was glorified. Padmini
committed suicide, which was glorified. An open religion of Hinduism was captivated
into boundaries, which led to rise of Brahma religion in 19th
century. An open society was restrained & women were subjected to bondage like
in Islam. The whole concept of
vermilion , Sankha, anklets, pola , armlets erupted from the concept of chaining a woman , do these not look similar to what happen in BDSM ?
Ajanta Ellora caves’ great paintings were by Buddhist Brahmacharis who
were prohibited the company of women for years but who could not win over
sexual perversions. It seems a laughing
stock today that Hindu kings who created a
history of erection n eroticism across Khajuraho n Konarak temples
( & so many other temples of
repute) was compelled
to chain up its emotions d Islamic way. It is mostly in Islam that a
lady is Her Man’s property & today so many people are attacted to ISIS only
because of availability of sex slaves
in plenty. Tribal women are free, even scheduled caste women are mostly free,
when compared to higher caste ones. Even Catholic Church could not resist
temptation of harnessing women. Constantinople resulted in liberation of
humanity n womanhood thru Protestant culture. It was surprising that Che had to
satisfy his warriors long bereft of sex, with a flock of lady teacher’s n
students, who lost way in d woods n begged refuge. These ladies are known as
sex slaves of revolution. Che admitted that war victory immediately after that
event largely went to these ladies’ sacrifice of chastity. But largely true
communists n revolutionaries believed not in institution of marriage. Because
they didn’t have a string of religion to be cringed to…because religion is d
root of women atrocities. They are called Kaminis …Ramakrishna ruined d life of
his wife Sarada, as did Narendra Modiji.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you believe sexual attitudes
and acts to be normal like all other bodily functions or do you think that
there is a special significance to sexual acts? In other words, do sexual acts
need to be couched in special sentiments and sanctified by the institution of
marriage? What is your own experience? What is the experience of people close
to you?
ANINDA: I have
discussed with my daughter in
detail d way Ajijur Rehman & Manideepa Bakshi lived to gether, the way in Shivadasa
Bhavan SUCI comrades started community
living…I have told her, that her
mom n dad did not have courage to
disregard social norms n so had to
marry. She has understood, when 16, that
marriage is a bondage created …real thing is understanding… Feudal n
hypocritical society’s norms cannot bond a man n a woman for long, so divorces
are so rampant. If my daughter loves anybody, like Saratchandra said in Sesh
Prashna (The last question), till that love exists, she should cohabit with
that guy. It has started happening in
India….it is bad to sustain a relationship only for marital sake, just to
prolong such marriage institution. My wife, although liberal in her attire
beyond norms n breaking societal barricades, has not come up to live this
boldness. Maybe, not my daughter too. But I have faith. Like her periods & Napkins, I have asked
her to unwrap all concepts on lesbianism n homosexuality & gender
conversions. I firly believe but I doubt, how many of my friends. I love beef
but many do not. I can’t impose. I feel,
Censor board & VHP/ Shivsena / ABVP cannot dictate human affairs including sex,
drugs n drinks.
SONGSOPTOK: In your opinion, does the taboo
about sex give rise to repressive societies where men and women feel obliged to
curb their natural instincts and take recourse to abuse, rape or incest?
ANINDA: I have already
said, rapes happen in first world d liberal world. But ladies paying for BDSM
is highest therein (50 shades of grey) . They
take courage in winning over d turmoil….our courts are worse & more judges than in Canada ask victims here , why she did not try to close her legs …D way a rape
victim is subjected to harassments in police station , medical checkup &
court trial well speak out, why red light areas thrive in India. True, sin city exists in EU, but that’s an extreme…now that Marhwari
society has opened up, so many
are enjoying with Marhwari girls instead of Bengalee girls in
night clubs & their visits to Golden Tree has come down.
SONGSOPTOK: This brings us to the issue of
violence against women in different societies, where women and girls are abused
and raped on a regular basis by members of their own families. Do you think
that the taboo about sex is the main reason for such behavior? Would a change
in attitudes actually make a difference to the position of women in such
societies?
ANINDA: It is
hypocrisy… a karta of a family of a
religious sect dominate over women n some weaker men n manipulate rules, as they do when they kill
lovers in d name of goth. Already I said,
girls go depressed to suppress such tortures. One of my daughter’s friends
dropped out off class XI just before finals. Why? She went into depression. May
be something happened in school / hostel that reminded her of her year’s long
sexual torture by her perverted grandpa… This is not dissimilar to what we see
in Crime Patrol / Savdhaan India… Marital rape is not reckoned as a crime in
India, although decline of sex is. So many
sisters in law , daughters in law, daughters, granddaughters &
granddaughters in law & sisters are
suffering silently everyday in India
& Pak ( Mukhtar Mai is
a grand example); even a woman can be slaughtered in Pak in the name of upholding family prestige / dignity & the culprit shall go scot free , as recently
happened with a fashionista in Pak.
I volunteer d cause of
liberal western dressing of my
wife irrespective of / defying her age
or her aging factors , as happen in West &
as is now happening gradually among our
aged gen. Nowadays, my parents /
parents in law are exceptions, who do not come to VIT Vellore to see their
granddaughter in traditional ethnic wears . Many of aged grannies come in Western outfits. This is liberation
in concept. If this happens, those hubbies need not go to kepts / prostitutes
or enchanters just for d sake of pleasure of eyes.
SONGSOPTOK: Have media in general and
Internet in particular played a role in either enhancing or diminishing the
taboo about sex? In what way?
ANINDA: Now you do not need blue films, pornographies,
chotigolpo books. All are free in Youtube. So everything is glorified today, among all
age groups—males & females--- thru Whatsapp, thru MMSes, thru FB… some
posts are deleted by FB…in one minute you can reach world & spread your
message to millions. But that has spread
more sex-mania than reduced taboos / created awareness. Sex education has not
spread the way it should have; nor are teachers updated to answer queries. At
home, they are not at home.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that ultimately sex
is all about power and domination, both for men and women? Why? What is your
personal experience?
ANINDA: Sex is d ultimate of love n relationship. It is for sex that a man n a woman comes
together; it is wrong to discriminate what Gandhiji used to practice in
life. Sex was a prime factor & sex
is / shall be too. If u r sexy, u get likes more in FB & so many shall like
to chat…in fact, obscene proposals are common.
So many great poets offer to elevate small fries if n only if they
engage in love / sex with the big shots. Platonic love is there, but mostly it
is a utopia. As long as sexual life is
there, love is reverberating , it breathes …
without sex love is scanty &
woman seeks solace in a gigolo / other male out of
partnership; male seeks solace
in 1 night stand / enchanter. So, sex life should be active till uterus
is active.
ANINDA GHOSH: An ACA of 1990, a poet-writer-
strong BJP critic & a staunch believer in HDI based economic upliftment and wealth creation of
nations . Lives in Karnataka ( last 8 yrs)
& love art films , little
mags, group theatres .
We sincerely
thank you for your time and hope we shall have your continued support.
Aparajita
Sen
(EDITOR)
Songsoptok
0 Comments
