There are more
things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt
of in your philosophy.
- Hamlet
(1.5.166-7), Hamlet to Horatio
2 Corinthians
12:3-4
New
International Version (NIV)
3 And I know
that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God
knows— 4 was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that
no one is permitted to tell.
Lately I've been having some very odd
spiritual experiences. They are akin to the TV program Quantum Leap where the
guy leaps into another person's body or even more personal like the protagonist
in the Octavia Butler novel, Kindred. Mine is not quite that spectacular but it
began last year with my mother's spirit speaking through me to create a memoir for
her. Even though my Mom has been deceased since 1998 it was like she and I were
one flesh. The stimulus was a rather unpleasant family disagreement but that
one trigger melded our spirits and I began to feel the emotions she had over 50
years ago concerning my Brother Stephen's developmental disability. All the
hurt, pain, sadness, anguish and depression she felt when she was unjustly
accused of causing her beloved son’s autism surfaced within my spirit.
I just began to write and write over the
course of the last 7 or 8 months. Then after finding out some interesting
family history concerning my maternal grandmother again I began to experience
her emotions. Then a few days ago when I was posted in the Civil War
Photography exhibit at my museum, once more an ancestor's thoughts and emotions
came to me. My Great, Great Grandfather William Henry Halstead fought in the
Civil War. There was a steady stream of visitors but everyone was quiet, calm,
serious, deeply affected by what they were seeing. During the course of the day
as I walked through the photographs taking everything in it was like I began to
see through the eyes of my Great, Great Grandfather. I could hear the sounds of
battle, the screams of pain from injured soldiers, feel his adrenaline as he surged
forth with his 29th CT. Colored Regiment brothers. All I can say it was like I
was in his head. I had to make an effort to turn off so I could finish my day
without freaking out. Even now I feel he is still with me even though I never
met him. Maybe this is genetic memory. All the memories of our ancestors stay
with us though we are separated by time but not necessarily by eternity. As a
writer it gives a different aspect and flavor to my writing but it is a very
strange sensation and I don't know what to make of this new development.
William H. Halstead name as inscribed on the
Colored Soldiers Monument in Washington, DC. It happened last year as I was
making a Family Photo collage for the Employee Art Show. It was as though
family members long deceased most whom I never got the chance to meet were
telling me where to place all the photos within the collage. Very strange.
Ancestor Branches
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm some type of
an Empath like on Star Trek. Empaths have the ability to scan another's psyche
for thoughts and feelings or for past, present, and future life occurrences.
Many empaths are unaware of how this actually works, and have long accepted
that they were sensitive to others.
I posed my questions to the FB Black
Ancestry page and received several intuitive responses. “I’ve been chosen as a
Portal by my family members who have passed on. Some inanimate objects do have
an impressed energy and will release to an open mind/spirit. Some good, some
negative. In your case, the familiar of family to present themselves to you to
share an understanding of who they were to help others in their journeys here.”
While in the Egyptian Wing of the museum I also felt a spiritual connection to
this woman perhaps Queen Tiye whose face graces a canopic jar. William Henry
Halstead Headstone ~ Sleepy Hollow The Battle scene I heard while in the Civil
War Photography exhibit as described by one of my Great, Great Grandfathers
fellow soldiers.
http://conn29th.org/stories.htm
Maybe my Great, great grandfather is trying
to connect with me. Sometimes I wonder why he speaks to me. Also I never had
experiences of this magnitude when I was younger. I did have visions between
the ages of 4 and 5 but I never told my parents for fear they would think I was
nuts. These visions began again after I turned 50. I'm 54 now. An odd age for
the portal to reopen. Now I know why he waited nearly 150 years not just for me
to make an appearance on this earth but he waited for "The One". The Anointed One who would be able to tell
the stories of the ancestors and who could make Spiritual Consolation so their
souls could be at rest.
In December of 1863 my Great Great
Grandfather, William Henry Halstead, who lived in Tarrytown, New York, traveled
to New Haven, Connecticut to join the 29th Connecticut Colored Infantry. On his
Volunteer Enlistment papers it notes his occupation as a farmer. He enlisted
for three years and was discharged on the 24th day of October 1865. He married
and had five children. William Henry Halstead passed away in 1888 and was
buried in Sleepy Hollow Cemetery in Tarrytown, New York. His wife moved to New
York City with her five children. Her children grew up in Harlem and belonged
to various organizations such as Odd Fellows, Ladies of the Grand Army of the Republic
and the Daughters of New York.
I'm glad my spirit is open and that some
family members have decided to reconnect through the veil of life and death to
communicate with me. I would say that they don't want to be forgotten by
current and future generations. I am Chosen to tell their stories.
--
DEBORAH ANN PALMER
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