Songsoptok
INTERVIEW
Valentine’s Day – myth or reality?
SONGSOPTOK: Valentine’s Day has become
one of the major festivals these days, comparable to Thanksgiving, Christmas,
Diwali, Id, Rosh Hashanah or Chanukah and observed by men and women
irrespective of religion. Do you agree? How important is it in the country you
live in??
FAIYAZ:
Yes Valentine Day has become a very popular ‘event’
these days. I will not call it a festival because all festivals have a
religious connection and Valentine’s Day though named after a Christian saint
has no religious connotation. It is religion neutral, the love Jehadis
notwithstanding. In India it is
primarily an urban phenomenon that has caught the fancy of young men and women
thanks to media penetration and commercial exploitation.
SONGSOPTOK: There are several different views about the history and origin of
Valentine’s Day. Which is the version you know about?
FAIYAZ: In the age of Wikipedia, you can learn about all the different
versions in a few minutes of patient reading. So while I am aware of quite a
few different versions about its origin I have no favourite version. What I
find interesting is that Valentine’s Day became a symbol of romantic love only
during the 14th. Century when it was popularized by Chaucer and
while Chaucer is now remembered only by students of English literature, the
feast has blossomed into a worldwide phenomenon thanks to the lords of lucre. It
follows that economic support is as important to literature as it is to life.
SONGSOPTOK: Why do you think Valentine’s Day has become so important all over the world
irrespective of the political, social and religious dimensions? Do you think
that the anxiety and stress related to modern day relationships have
contributed to its growing popularity all over the world?
FAIYAZ: If anxiety and stress can lead to a celebration of romantic
love, then I am all for anxiety and stress. One reason for the immense
popularity of Valentine’s Day, especially in Asian countries, is because it
allows people to be open about a matter which so far was kept under wraps and
hence it is also a mild form of rebellion against social norms.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? In what way? If you don’t, will you
please explain why not?
FAIYAZ: Yes, I do celebrate Valentine’s Day but not on the 14th.
of February. For me, love is not a date in the calendar but an emotion that is
all embracing and perennial.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you feel obliged to do something special for your spouse/partner on
Valentine’s Day or it is similar to and as natural as celebrating birthdays and
anniversaries? In other words, is there any peer pressure to conform to the
traditions associated with the modern version of Valentine’s Day?
FAIYAZ: Once you start feeling obliged to do something special for your
partner due to peer pressure, then it’s time to review your relationship! The
moment expression of love becomes an obligation it ceases to be love and
becomes an empty ritual. People who conform to tradition due to peer pressure
clearly do not understand the basic essence of the tradition which they claim
to conform to.
SONGSOPTOK: According to you what, if anything, is special about Valentine’s Day? Does
it play an important role in romantic relationships? Why? Is it important for
you to surprise your partner on Valentine’s Day? What would be your preferred
way?
FAIYAZ: I don’t think there is any special day to express your love for
anyone for whom you may have a deep emotional attachment. A modern couple
brought up under the Hollywood/Bollywood notion of love might consider it a
sacrilege to let Valentine’s Day pass without doing something ‘special’ for
their beloved but that has nothing to do with the deeper meaning of romantic
love.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you buy gifts on Valentine’s Day? What type of gifts do you normally
buy? Do you think it is important to follow the norm and go for the traditional
gifts like flowers, chocolates, cards, perfumes etc.? Please share your motivations
or lack of them with us?
FAIYAZ: I don’t recollect ever buying any gift on Valentine’s Day because every day
spent in the company of your beloved is special and following any silly norm
for the sake of some silly newspaper advertisement has never been my strong
point.
SONGSOPTOK: Marketing Gurus often dub Hallmark as the official sponsor of Valentine’s
Day in the USA. Do you have any equivalent in your own country? Do big consumer
good companies carry out an aggressive promotion campaign for Valentine’s Day?
What are their preferred channels? Do social media play an important role in
this respect in your country of residence?
FAIYAZ: In the age of globalization, most marketing strategies are just
too ubiquitous and bland.
SONGSOPTOK: What are the popular customs related to Valentine’s Day in the country you
live in? What do you think about them? Do you think that men and women actually
enjoy and look forward to 14th February or is it just a matter of keeping up
with the Jones’??
FAIYAZ: I am not sure if there are any ‘customs’ associated with
Valentine’s Day unless you include the exchange of gifts, shared time etc. as
customs peculiar to Valentine’s Day. Personally, I would be horrified if it
were true that modern lovers actually follow a ‘custom’ when it comes to
romance.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that there is actually a social stigma for single, unattached
people who do not celebrate Valentine’s Day? Do you think that the Valentine
Day extravaganza may have a negative impact on their psyche, moral and
ultimately their well-beings? What is your own experiences? Would you please
share it with us?
FAIYAZ: In the modern world where not to conform is itself a stigma, and your
popularity is judged by the number of likes to your FB photos, I will not be in
the least surprised if people go into severe depression just because they have
no one to say, ‘I love you’ on Valentine’s Day. Mind you, I am not belittling
the value of love here but just the modern outward manifestation of love as
practiced today.
FAIYAZ
AHMED: I am an economist by training and a banker by profession. I have always
believed in the philosophy of creative idleness, hence I took ‘retirement’ at
an age when all my friends and colleagues had their nose to the grindstone. When
I was younger I believed in the principle of life, liberty and happiness of
pursuit. Now, older and hopefully wiser, I try to lead a life that is inspired
by love and guided by knowledge.
We sincerely thank you
for your time and hope to have your continued support.
Aparajita
Sen
(EDITOR)
Songsoptok
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